Friday, August 8, 2008

Almost Time to Go

Many people have told me they are praying for me. I can tell. The angels are so thick around me I have to swat them away so that I can see the road.

It’s almost time to leave…again. It’s a strange feeling. It seems existential. I feel suspended between two worlds. While in Pella, the life and work here seems more real. While on the road the road seems more real. Also my perspective on what constitutes reality seems to have changed so neither location seems grounded like it used to be. It’s all a little disconcerting but in a good way.

The desire to ride again came rapidly. I’ve been blessed with a swift recovery and little pain. But making the decision to ride has not been so easy. The question I’ve been pondering is whose will is it that I’m resuming the ride? I know without a doubt that I want to, but am I supposed to? I think so. It seems I’ve been given an equal choice. Both options are legitimate with equal blessings and challenges. It seems as though the decision has been given to me to make. So I’ve made the choice I want to make. Sometimes it seems selfish, but I don’t think that can be true if the choices are equal. The ride is a relatively short term activity and longer term I’ll be returning to my work. Some people have applauded my perseverance or what my daughter has called my stubbornness. I don’t know what it is but I hope this about something more. I hope in some way this is about following where I’m lead and about faithfulness.

So for now I’ll just thank the Lord for the opportunity and continue to be open for guidance. If I complete the ride, I’ll say “Praise the Lord.” If I don’t complete the ride I’ll still say “Praise the Lord.”

The joy is in the journey.

1 comment:

Rae said...

Obviously I'm very proud of you. Remind Justin to shoot you the snappy retort from Bob, the guy who runs the prayer support list. Good times.